Oh, to find the time...

What is it about life that pulls us in so many different directions and keeps us from spending time wisely--- doing really nothing at all? Do you ever feel like you are just running in circles? Chasing your tails? (I know we really don't have tails) By the time the days are finished, and I finally get to steal a bit of time for myself, I am so drained mentally, physically and emotionally that I can hardly keep myself focused enough to fully complete a sentence...even in my thoughts! After the kids go to sleep, the prized time comes and instead of really doing something great with that time, I zone out. Sometimes just sitting...not even watching tv, or reading a book. I become a little concerned when I can't even pull from my extensive file of vocabulary from my last 38 years of life simple words such as blanket, spoon, ball, dog, or even my child's name!!!!!!! Does anyone else ever do this? This is so crazy. Here I am with my college degree! I'm an educator, by golly! Ugh! I so desire to rise above this STRONG pull to stop and zone out and use this time for more productive purposes! Even if it is reading a book! That would be so refreshing for me, but I find myself reading the same line over and over again because I don't remember if I've read it yet!!!! But, how do we overcome this? I know it is so important to have alone time with God first and then ourselves. How do people find time to do such wonderful things as scrapbook, paint a wall, redecorate, reorganize a closet, pantry, or anything else that is not standard daily home maintenance while home schooling, driving to co-ops, running a private music studio, volunteering at church? When do we evaluate each child's work? I feel like I am running on a treadmill...not moving forward or backward, just running everyday, but always in the same place! Oh, that just reminded me of something a good friend of mine told me with a similar analogy. She said homeschooling sometimes can feel like running of a treadmill, while holding something in hand...I think you could add while wearing 10 pound weights on each limb, with rainboots on your feet full of sand!!! The Bible says we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. I so need that. But, sometimes I think I need to go and find my mind first!